erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
