I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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