you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
