UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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