I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
