but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
