is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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