I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
