Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
