I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We don't watch enough power rangers
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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