I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
