remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
