You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
