you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
zippers are such a cool invention
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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