And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
