you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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