I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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