Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
