I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
