Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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