I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
