Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
