Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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