I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
