She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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