bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
