You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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