I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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