Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
