On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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