apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
