I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
