You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
