i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
