Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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