He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
