So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
