"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
