I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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