His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
