Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
