Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
