Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
