Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
