i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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