fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
bring money and cleavage
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
These tits shall not be calmed
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
