D3 body, D1 cock
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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