Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
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