i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
