whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
