i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
